First Love

First love

First love is always unforgettable and those special memories would always linger around for life time. It was in the summer of 1996, Rajesh was 16 years old and had entered into the first year of higher secondary school. There were some newcomers as well, both boys and girls in the class and it took almost a month for every one to know each other. That was when Rajesh saw Trinity for the first time. During break time, he saw her reading a book on Mother Teresa. She seem to have noticed that he was watching her and turned towards him. She gave a friendly smile and said, "Hi!” he responded back to her and continued "Do you really like Mother Teresa?". She said, “Yes, I like her a lot, the kind of service she did for the poor is something extraordinary." Rajesh looked into her eyes and got lost in its depth.

Days went by and his feelings for her grew more and more. Rajesh's friends were able to spot the difference in him and started to tease him. Whenever she walked in front of Rajesh, there were smiles, his name was being called out slowly. He felt like flying whenever she smiled at him. Whenever he looked at her his heartbeat would start pounding and adrenaline would start pumping.

It was the beginning of September 1996 and there was an elocution competition in another School. Trinity was one of the participants and Rajesh was excited to listen to her speech. The topic was, "Thamizh Mozhiyin Sirappu" and all the participants were trying to show off their skills. She came to the stage and started her speech with this great song of Bharathidasan:

thamizhukkum amudhendru per,

andha thamizh inbathamizh yengal uyirukku ner, uyirukku ner,

thamizhukku nilavendru per ,

inbath thamizh yengal samogaththin vilaivukku neer,

thamizhukku manamendru per,

inbath thamizh yengal vazhvukku nirumiththa oor,

thamizhukku madhuvendru per,

inbath thamizh yengal urimaichem payirukku ver, payirukku ver,

thamizh yengal ilamaikku paal,

inbath thamizh nalla pugazh mikka pulavarkku vel,

thamizh yengal uyarvukku vaan,

inbath thamizh yengal asadhikku chudar thandha then, chudar thandha then,

thamizh yengal arivukku thol,

inbath thamizh yengal kavidhaikku vayiraththin val,

thamizh yengal piravikku thai,

inbath thamizh yengal valamikka ulamutra thee,

The song was sung with such power that every one was silent. She then continued with her speech and when she finished the applause was deafening. Rajesh felt proud, surprised, shocked, amazed and had every other feeling in the world. She won the competition and became a star of the school. Rajesh thought to himself about expressing his love.

On 14th September, there was an educational tour which was planned to visit the Kalpakkam Atomic Power station. On that day, in the noon that Rajesh called her and said, "I have to tell you something". She said, "Sure, tell me". He was not sure about how to start the conversation however he brought up some courage and told her, "I think am in love with you, I like seeing you every day...". He didn't know what else to add as he had rehearsed a hundred times but fell short of words to express himself. However he felt nice that he had proposed her. She did not reply anything and did not show any emotions on her face. She left that place without uttering a single word. Rajesh's heart was pounding heavily again and couple of hours passed by.

All have left that place and started back to the school in the bus. Rajesh sat in the last seat with tears in his eyes. All students except him were singing and enjoying their ride back to the school. The school was only 30 minutes away, Rajesh leaned to his front seat and was wiping his tears slowly. Suddenly someone touched his shoulder and he noticed that his lady love was sitting in the front seat. She smiled at him and said, "I love you too". At that moment Rajesh felt that he was the King of the world. All his friends were loudly cheering at him.

After this lovely incident, Rajesh had changed completely. There was a change in his lifestyle, dressing, manners etc. They were the most popular pair during their school days. They came to school together everyday and left together. Those were some of the beautiful days of their life.

Well, those beautiful days lasted for one and half years until her parents came to know about them. Trinity did not come to school for a couple of days. After that, when she returned back to school, she did not speak to Rajesh at all. Rajesh was called to the Principal's room and was warned. After two weeks, she reached out to him looking worried and said that she wants to break up. She told him that her parents were very particular about their caste and that they would never agree for an inter caste marriage. Rajesh was shattered to hear that as he had never imagined that caste would play such a big role in their relationship.

Their final exams was fast approaching and that was the last time they saw each other. She came into his life, showed the meaning of love and then left him.

Years passed by, Rajesh completed his post graduation and got placed in a good job. His parents had arranged for his marriage with a girl who belonged to the same caste to which Trinity belonged which was a sheer coincidence. Rajesh decided to move on with his life.

Sometimes, Rajesh used to remember his first love however he does not regret, instead he cherishes those memories as it gives him immense pleasure and satisfaction.

I would like to quote those words of Lester from the movie, 'American Beauty' which says:

"I guess I could be pretty pissed off about what happened to me, but it’s hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst. Then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can't feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life."